Faith of the Heart

I woke up this morning with the Eneterprise theme song running through my head. I have no idea how it got there. I haven't watched an episode of Enterprise in ages, but it was a welcome change from the sound track that has been playing in my head lately. I know, I know, this time of year, everyone has Christmas carols drilled into their brains to the point that they drive you nearly mad, but I could not even get them to stick with me, try as I might to hum the Jingle Bell Rock. I've had the Roy Orbison tune Crying running through my head for over a week- but not even the whole song, just the incessant word "Crying, crying, crryyyyyiiiing," over and over the way Orbison drew it out like a signiture trailing off the paper. To make matters worse, I have been crying at commercials and old Christmas cards.

I wish it was just PMS, but it has lasted too long. I am 43 years old, and I have not accomplished the things that I wanted to by this time. I know it is cliche, but maybe the whole human experience is one cliche after another. Everyone senses the sands of Time slipping by too fast occasionally. I think the thing that really bothers me is that the past couple of years have been so difficult financially. My husband hurt his back and has not been able to work, and he has been depressed on top of it. My oldest son, Tate, is 16 already, and soon he will be leaving home, my time with him is running out, and there are no recent memories of happy family times. He and his dad are at war almost continuously, and I can't for the life of me figure out what happened to the happy little boy he used to be.

But this morning, I woke up with Faith of the Heart running through my head, and I "feel a change in the wind right now," I have to stop letting things stand in my way. With a little inspiration the song, and from my friend, Kevin Cordi http://www.kevincordi.com/ who just got his PhD, I decided to go back to college, even if it is just online. I stopped going to college in 2006 because Tate was having trouble in school and needed more attention. Now I think I owe it to him, as well as myself to complete my education. I also decided to start this blog to sort of keep myself on track. I am going to try and blog every day to keep my goals in the forefront. Hopefully I will slow down the sands of Time by living more of my life instead of just sitting around waiting for something to happen.

A link to my poem, Into Darkness: http://allpoetry.com/poem/3712184