I did not get any sleep last night because Todd is up and down, tossing and turning in pain. So this morning, I was sleeping after Todd went somewhere with Ernest, and I heard the dog barking. The dog never barks, so I got up to see what was wrong with him, and he was dancing around all happy. I could not figure out what he wanted, so I went to bed. Then I heard this pounding. At first, I thought someone was pounding at our door, but then I decided that it was next door. Then I finally fell asleep and I hear someone standing outside my bedroom door, calling my name. I open the door and it's Sandy. You remember Sandy, right? The one who walked to our place at 4:30 am after she was arrested and released for DUI.
Anyway, she wanted me to get dressed and go to my mother's with her, but I just wanted to go back to bed. I love Sandy, but she picks the worst times to pop in. She has to drive a long way to get here. I wish she would at least call before she does- oh, but she said she'd broken her phone and no longer had our number.
Well, I got up and we chatted for a while. She told me that she had moved in with a man named Craig after knowing him about a day. Can you imagine? She met him at a bar. That is sheer desperation. I know why Sandy did it. Her ex, Richard had blown her entire month's income in a single weekend on New Year's. She was desperate for someone to save her financialy, but why would a man bring a stranger into his home so quickly? Sandy said he is caring for his elderly father. I imagine that he was desperate for some help doing that. I know my mother was so desperate for help with Grandpa that she married Harry.
Relationships begun in desperation don't do well. Mom and Harry are seperating.
I worry about Sandy. She knows next to nothing about this man. She could not even give me his phone number. She said she could not remember it. Little things she said made me think that he is very controlling. She said that he wanted her there when he came home for lunch, and that he only gave her enough money to do the things she needed to do each day. Those things just did not sound good to me. I am picturing a control freak. Her second husband was a control freak, and she let him control her too. I just hope he does not hurt her physically, or JJ for that matter. Chrissy and Hershel have both moved in with other relatives rather than move in with this guy. Sigh....
Thursday, January 21, 2010
New Blogs
I decided to start two more blogs. One is going to be called In Memorium. It will be a place where I am going to post memories of people I have loved who have passed away. It will also be open for others to post memories of their loved ones. The other blog will be called Six Degrees. It will be a place where I will post about people who have had an impact in my life, but I have lost track of over the years. It will also be open for others to post in. I hope to get both of those blogs going in the next day or two.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Grandma's Story
Grandma’s name was Ruth Nadine Teeter Reams Dinehart. She had a recurring dream that she told me about when I was just a little girl. She would dream about her son, Jimmy who was killed when he was only 13 years old. In her dream she said Jimmy was alive and she was picking out clothes for him to wear when something in the sky started shooting fireballs all around them. She said it was like the end of the world, and she was trying to protect herself and Jimmy.
I can only imagine how this dream must have started out so pleasant for her. She got to see the son who had been dead for more than 30 years. He was still the little boy she remembered and she was trying to take care of him. Then suddenly everything turned as fire rained down all around her, she felt helpless to save herself or Jimmy from what seemed like certain destruction.
The dream has even more significance when you know the circumstances of Jimmy’s death. He died on the Fort Ord artillery range on the day before Easter in 1943. He was there with his brother, Dickie, when a mortar shell exploded.
Amazingly, Dick managed to live all night on the ground after he had to cut off part of his own leg that was left dangling by skin after the blast. He said that blood squirted out of it like a water pistol, and he tried to scoot on his bottom for help. He was only eleven years old. It is a miracle he did not bleed to death. He lied there all night, frightened, cold, and in delirium while Grandma begged army officials to let her onto the base to search for the boys.
His dog probably saved his life. Mitsy laid on Dick’s chest and barked all night long, keeping Dick conscious and as warm as possible.
In the 40’s things like sugar, butter, and gas were rationed. One of the soldiers stationed at Fort Ord thought he was doing the boys a favor when he showed them how they could extract lead from the mortar shells on the artillery range so that they could turn it in for recycling and get some money from it. There was no fence around the artillery range. The army is supposed to keep track of the explosions to make sure that no live artillery is left on the range, but they obviously didn’t do a very good job of it.
In the morning, Dick was found and taken to the army hospital where his other leg was amputated. If he had received medical care sooner, maybe that leg could have been saved. The army had the gall to bill my grandmother. Soldiers on the base found out and took up a collection and paid the bill for her.
In 1943, nobody had ever sued the US government. It was actually against the law to bring a law suit against the government at that time, and to change that fact would take an act of congress, but Grandma did not let that daunt her. She got herself a good lawyer, a man who would later become a California state senator; Frederick Farr. With his help Grandma got a law was passed in 1946 making it possible for civilians to sue the US government for negligence, but because Dick was hurt before the law was passed, the army could not be sued for his injuries or for Jimmy’s death.
In 1949 something eerie happened. A migrant family was camping on the Monterey peninsula, and their two sons, David and Jerry Edgmon, woke up early on Easter morning and decided to collect some wild flowers for their mother. The two boys and their dog took off across the fields without a care. They never saw the signs that were posted warning of the danger, and when they wandered onto the artillery range and found a strange object, just like any curious boys, they picked it up, then dropped it.
Their parents were awakened by the sound of the explosion, and this time help and medical attention came swiftly. Both boys lived, and their injuries were not as serious as Dick’s had been. One of the boys had to have some toes amputated. The other one lost a foot and some toes, but because the law had already been passed, they were able to sue the army and my uncle Dick testified for them. They received the largest civil settlements that had ever been granted at that time.
Grandma and Uncle Dick continued to pursue justice, however, and in 1960, president Eisenhower signed a private bill giving Uncle Dick a settlement of over $200,000. Grandma only received $12,500 for Jimmy’s death.
Grandma died in 1977, and Uncle Dick followed her in 1978. All of my family members who were alive during this time have died. I have newspaper articles and the things I remember Grandma saying and things I have gathered from my mother and my Uncle Dick’s only son, but I am trying to put a book together and any information would be helpful.
If you know anything about these events, please contact me. It is possible that David and Jerry Edgmon could still be alive. If they are, I would love to speak to them or their family. I would love to speak to anybody who may have been stationed at Fort Ord at the time or family members of soldiers who were there. Even if they were not aware of the incident, I would like to know details about Fort Ord in the 1940's. My email is danna_hobart@yahoo.com
Thank you
I can only imagine how this dream must have started out so pleasant for her. She got to see the son who had been dead for more than 30 years. He was still the little boy she remembered and she was trying to take care of him. Then suddenly everything turned as fire rained down all around her, she felt helpless to save herself or Jimmy from what seemed like certain destruction.
The dream has even more significance when you know the circumstances of Jimmy’s death. He died on the Fort Ord artillery range on the day before Easter in 1943. He was there with his brother, Dickie, when a mortar shell exploded.
Amazingly, Dick managed to live all night on the ground after he had to cut off part of his own leg that was left dangling by skin after the blast. He said that blood squirted out of it like a water pistol, and he tried to scoot on his bottom for help. He was only eleven years old. It is a miracle he did not bleed to death. He lied there all night, frightened, cold, and in delirium while Grandma begged army officials to let her onto the base to search for the boys.
His dog probably saved his life. Mitsy laid on Dick’s chest and barked all night long, keeping Dick conscious and as warm as possible.
In the 40’s things like sugar, butter, and gas were rationed. One of the soldiers stationed at Fort Ord thought he was doing the boys a favor when he showed them how they could extract lead from the mortar shells on the artillery range so that they could turn it in for recycling and get some money from it. There was no fence around the artillery range. The army is supposed to keep track of the explosions to make sure that no live artillery is left on the range, but they obviously didn’t do a very good job of it.
In the morning, Dick was found and taken to the army hospital where his other leg was amputated. If he had received medical care sooner, maybe that leg could have been saved. The army had the gall to bill my grandmother. Soldiers on the base found out and took up a collection and paid the bill for her.
In 1943, nobody had ever sued the US government. It was actually against the law to bring a law suit against the government at that time, and to change that fact would take an act of congress, but Grandma did not let that daunt her. She got herself a good lawyer, a man who would later become a California state senator; Frederick Farr. With his help Grandma got a law was passed in 1946 making it possible for civilians to sue the US government for negligence, but because Dick was hurt before the law was passed, the army could not be sued for his injuries or for Jimmy’s death.
In 1949 something eerie happened. A migrant family was camping on the Monterey peninsula, and their two sons, David and Jerry Edgmon, woke up early on Easter morning and decided to collect some wild flowers for their mother. The two boys and their dog took off across the fields without a care. They never saw the signs that were posted warning of the danger, and when they wandered onto the artillery range and found a strange object, just like any curious boys, they picked it up, then dropped it.
Their parents were awakened by the sound of the explosion, and this time help and medical attention came swiftly. Both boys lived, and their injuries were not as serious as Dick’s had been. One of the boys had to have some toes amputated. The other one lost a foot and some toes, but because the law had already been passed, they were able to sue the army and my uncle Dick testified for them. They received the largest civil settlements that had ever been granted at that time.
Grandma and Uncle Dick continued to pursue justice, however, and in 1960, president Eisenhower signed a private bill giving Uncle Dick a settlement of over $200,000. Grandma only received $12,500 for Jimmy’s death.
Grandma died in 1977, and Uncle Dick followed her in 1978. All of my family members who were alive during this time have died. I have newspaper articles and the things I remember Grandma saying and things I have gathered from my mother and my Uncle Dick’s only son, but I am trying to put a book together and any information would be helpful.
If you know anything about these events, please contact me. It is possible that David and Jerry Edgmon could still be alive. If they are, I would love to speak to them or their family. I would love to speak to anybody who may have been stationed at Fort Ord at the time or family members of soldiers who were there. Even if they were not aware of the incident, I would like to know details about Fort Ord in the 1940's. My email is danna_hobart@yahoo.com
Thank you
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Unfocussed Rambling...
I realize that this blog is pretty unfocussed. I haven't got a true objective for it other than to purge my mind of things that are weighing it down, or things I am excited about. I seem to end up talking more about television shows than anything else, and that is truly sad when you think about it, because that means that television is the biggest part of my life right now. I am hoping that going back to school will change that.
So anyway, I am going to go ahead and talk about the first Heroes episode of 2010.
I really like Heroes, but I have to admit that I have a little trouble following it from time to time. Often their flashbacks are not clearly flashbacks, and in a show that also uses time travel, they should make that more clear. Maybe I just get distracted during the show, trying to keep up with all the subtitles, and then there is Tate. I grounded him off the computer for not doing his chores, and since he does not care for Heroes, and he knows I do, he had to make a bunch of noise, to the point that I sent him to bed. Lord, grant me the wisdom and patience to deal with that child, but I digress- back to Heroes:
Heroes is such a refreshing change from all of the formula written shows that are on these days. Shows like SVU, House, CSI, etc... are well written shows, but they all follow the same formula, and I am bored to death of them. Forensic, law, and medical shows go more for shock factor than entertainment in my humble opinion. That is just a cheat. Humans love bizarre things, so they come up with a very rare disease or a very strange way for a person to die, and then they show way too much gore. I think that they should leave that stuff more to the imagination. I like Heroes because it can surprise me. There are very few television programs that can do that.
So Nathan is officially dead. I have to say that if he is really dead and gone off the show, I am going to be sad. The actor, Adrian Pasdar, bears a striking resemblence to my brother, and for that reason I enjoy watching him. I have only seen my brother once in the past 6 years, and I miss him. Tonight when Peter and Claire said they missed him, I realized that I miss him too, and so I hope that the writers find a way to resurrect him.
One thing I honestly don't get is when Syler first killed him, why did they not use some of Claire's blood to resurrect him? It brought Noah back after he died at the end of the first season. And why can't her blood fix Hiro's problem? Oh, I know that it would be too easy a fix if the writers used it every time someone was sick or dead, but honestly, since they know it works, I can't understand why the characters don't at least bring it up?
Can anybody tell me what happend to the character that Nichelle Nichols was playing? And her character's granddaughter was stuck in a house full of gangsters, about to be killed at the end of season 2. That storyline seems to have been completely abandoned. I'd be lying if I said that the storyline of Samuel and the carnival did not interest me, but I really would have liked to have seen them wrap up the story with Nichelle and her graddaughter before they brought Samuel into the picture.
Does anybody think that the note on Claire's dorm door wasn't from Gretchen? I could be wrong, but I have a feeling that something bad has happened to Gretchen. I think Samuel sees her as a threat to his recruitment of Claire.
Speaking of Claire, what was up with her cut not healing? Could she be losing her abilities? Could Samuel have done something to her to cause her to lose them? Does he have that kind of knowledge? Peter healed from the gun shot after he touched Claire, so her healing powers are not all gone- yet.
Am I getting old, or is it difficult for everybody to keep up with the character's names? I can't remember the name of the deaf woman who sees sounds. I want to say it's Emily, or Emma, and I don't know if they ever even said the name of the guy who can make things grow.
The show left everyone wondering what Syler is up to with Claire. I am looking forward to next week.
So anyway, I am going to go ahead and talk about the first Heroes episode of 2010.
I really like Heroes, but I have to admit that I have a little trouble following it from time to time. Often their flashbacks are not clearly flashbacks, and in a show that also uses time travel, they should make that more clear. Maybe I just get distracted during the show, trying to keep up with all the subtitles, and then there is Tate. I grounded him off the computer for not doing his chores, and since he does not care for Heroes, and he knows I do, he had to make a bunch of noise, to the point that I sent him to bed. Lord, grant me the wisdom and patience to deal with that child, but I digress- back to Heroes:
Heroes is such a refreshing change from all of the formula written shows that are on these days. Shows like SVU, House, CSI, etc... are well written shows, but they all follow the same formula, and I am bored to death of them. Forensic, law, and medical shows go more for shock factor than entertainment in my humble opinion. That is just a cheat. Humans love bizarre things, so they come up with a very rare disease or a very strange way for a person to die, and then they show way too much gore. I think that they should leave that stuff more to the imagination. I like Heroes because it can surprise me. There are very few television programs that can do that.
So Nathan is officially dead. I have to say that if he is really dead and gone off the show, I am going to be sad. The actor, Adrian Pasdar, bears a striking resemblence to my brother, and for that reason I enjoy watching him. I have only seen my brother once in the past 6 years, and I miss him. Tonight when Peter and Claire said they missed him, I realized that I miss him too, and so I hope that the writers find a way to resurrect him.
One thing I honestly don't get is when Syler first killed him, why did they not use some of Claire's blood to resurrect him? It brought Noah back after he died at the end of the first season. And why can't her blood fix Hiro's problem? Oh, I know that it would be too easy a fix if the writers used it every time someone was sick or dead, but honestly, since they know it works, I can't understand why the characters don't at least bring it up?
Can anybody tell me what happend to the character that Nichelle Nichols was playing? And her character's granddaughter was stuck in a house full of gangsters, about to be killed at the end of season 2. That storyline seems to have been completely abandoned. I'd be lying if I said that the storyline of Samuel and the carnival did not interest me, but I really would have liked to have seen them wrap up the story with Nichelle and her graddaughter before they brought Samuel into the picture.
Does anybody think that the note on Claire's dorm door wasn't from Gretchen? I could be wrong, but I have a feeling that something bad has happened to Gretchen. I think Samuel sees her as a threat to his recruitment of Claire.
Speaking of Claire, what was up with her cut not healing? Could she be losing her abilities? Could Samuel have done something to her to cause her to lose them? Does he have that kind of knowledge? Peter healed from the gun shot after he touched Claire, so her healing powers are not all gone- yet.
Am I getting old, or is it difficult for everybody to keep up with the character's names? I can't remember the name of the deaf woman who sees sounds. I want to say it's Emily, or Emma, and I don't know if they ever even said the name of the guy who can make things grow.
The show left everyone wondering what Syler is up to with Claire. I am looking forward to next week.
American Idol
Forward to the new season of American Idol. I don't know what day it starts on, but I know it is this month.
I am not looking forward to Ellen Degenerous taking over Paula's job. I hope Ellen doesn't just make a bunch of wisecracks. I am quite miffed that Paula is gone. I don't know what kind of qualifications Ellen is bringing to the table, but if she does not have musical training, she does not have any business judging it. I know that everyone can appreciate music, but it's like someone who does not know about poetry. They don't understand metaphor, symbolism or imagery, and are therefore only able to enjoy on the shallowest levels. Often they can't even appreciate a poem that doen't rhyme. I could be wrong. Ellen may have a very generous musical background. I sure hope she does, or it could be the end of Idol.
Doctor Who
I was surfing youtube looking for Doctor Who videos when I came across an episode of the Sarah Jane Adventures that David Tennant guest starred in as the Doctor. The episode was from season 3, and may have been titled "Sarah's Wedding." Anyway, if you type that into the search engine on youtube it will come up that way. It was a delightful episode, and I highly recommend it to Doctor Who fans that have not yet seen it.
Days of Our Lives
For those of you who watch Days, are you about ready to slap Bo and Hope, or bang their heads together? What a mess they have created where there was none. The whole mess is supposed to be because Bo followed his gut when Ciarra was kidnapped, but she is the one who always told him to follow his gut. She also encouraged him to listen to his visions. I wonder why he has not had any of those lately? Hmmmm... And whatever happened to Celeste? She was supposed to be the psychic one. Sigh.
I have to admit, Anna having EJ and Sami's baby was at least not entirely predictable, but do you know what is predictable on that show? If you live in Salem, your child will be kidnapped at some point. Maybe that is the price you have to pay for living someplace where all you have to do is sit around the Java Cafe and yet you never run out of money. I guess sarcasm has overtaken me, so I am going to wrap this up for now.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
The End of Time
Well, I watched the second half of The End of Time all three times that it was broadcast on BBC America today, and I have to say that I don't hate Matt Smith.
It is hard to get a reading on someone who has less than 5 minutes in the role so far, but he was actually better than I was expecting. I will need some time to get used to his voice though. It seems to crack in odd places.
He seemed to be trying to play the role the way David Tennant has played it. I am sure that he will soon make it his own though. Every regeneration has the monumental task of winning over an audience that has fallen in love with his predecessor. David Tennant did it when he took over after Christopher Eccelston, and he did it spectacularly. Matt Smith will now do it in his own way.
I am more concerned about the writing than I am with the actor taking over the role. We have all watched stories written by Stephen Moffat, and they are some of my favorite stories, but I am afraid that Moffat will abandon all of the characters that we have come to love in an attempt to make Matt Smith's Doctor stand on his own. That would be a mistake.
Captain Jack, Rose Tyler, Sarah Jane, Martha Jones, Donna Noble and Wilfred Mott are all friends of the Doctor, and even though he has a new face I am sure that they all still feel the same way about the Doctor as they always have. I really want to see them interact with Matt Smith's Doctor, maybe have Jack make some sort of crack about how the Doctor is now younger than he is, and maybe even have David Tennant come back for a show as the Meta-crisis Doctor that we now believe is living happily with Rose in that parallel world. I want to know more about the relationship between the Doctor and Professor River Song, and I want Jenny to find her "father" eventually. I think those are shows that all Doctor Who fans deserve to see.
I know that Moffat is a brilliant writer, and I know that he will be utilizing many of the existing monsters and adversaries as well as introducing some new ones. I just hope that he will also respect the fan’s love of previous companions and not write them out completely.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Tavern in the Red
I just read in Yahoo News that the famous New York restaurant, Tavern on the Green is going out of business. I have never been there, and I never even knew that I wanted to go there until I read about it going out of business. Isn't that silly?
I had heard of Tavern on the Green before, but who hasn't? I never knew anything about it and never gave any thought to it before though. Now I have seen pictures of its dining rooms and gardens and they are utterly beautiful; decorated in the kind of lavishness that you just don't see anymore, Tiffany stained glass, Baccarat and Waterford chandeliers- one of the chandeliers said to have been owned by an Indian maharajah. Doesn't that just get your imagination stirring?
The place was originally a "sheepfold." It housed sheep that grazed across the street in Central Park's sheep meadow. Since I have never been to Central Park either, I didn't know that part of it had once been a sheep meadow. A parks commissioner by the name of Robert Moses had the idea of turning it into a restaurant. If you think about it for a moment, it almost sounds preposterous to turn a place where livestock is housed into a restaurant, but it takes people of special vision to create something truly unique, and Tavern on the Green certainly was unique.
The building has had its ups and downs over the decades, and changed hands a number of times. Warner LeRoy, a son of one of the producers of "The Wizard of Oz," took over the restaurant's lease in 1974 and scoured the world looking for whimsial things to add to the Tavern's ambiance. "With LeRoy's addition of the glass enclosed Crystal and Terrace Rooms, his lavish use of brass, stained glass, etched mirrors, original paintings, antique prints and, above all, chandeliers, Tavern was reincarnated. It became a glittering palace, Central Park's most spectacular structure.... Celebrities flocked to the restaurant to see and be seen....[It became] "the" place for New York's most prestigious events - charity and political functions, Broadway openings and international film premieres.
(http://www.tavernonthegreen.com/history.asp?headinfo=abouttavern&subhead=history)
I would love to just spend some time in the place, soaking up some of its history. I feel a strange sense of loss. Another piece of the past, a past I never even knew, is being shut down, stripped of anything valuable and sold at auction. It's just plain sad. How many more American icons will this recession pull down with it? The irony is that the restaurant opened and thrived during the Great Depression.
I don't know exactly what went wrong or how the Tavern got to be more than 8 million dollars in debt. I am sure that someone else will come along and reopen the restaurant, but the building's character will have been gutted, it's spectacle and charm parceled up and sold to the highest bidders, another piece New York City will become just a memory to a bygone era.
As for me, I am going to look at some more pictures of the place and mourn for it a little while longer. Then I am going to start looking forward to going back to college. I have all my paperwork filled out and submitted. Now I just have to see if I can get some financial aid to get my books. Classes start on January 4th.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Mystery Solved
In my last blog entry, I mentioned that my friend Sandy and her kids were supposed to come over for Christmas, but never made it. When I tried to call her, the number I had for her was disconnected, and my email to her had not been answered. Well, the mystery is a mystery no more: Sandy just showed up here at our home at 4:30 a.m. She walked here, about three miles from the local jail. She said she'd been arrested for DUI because she had been asleep in her car on the side of the road.
They only held her for a few hours because there is really no room in the jail for a woman arrested on a non-violent charge. Sandy said she doesn't understand how they can get her for DUI when she was not driving, she was sleeping, and the keys were not in the ignition. I don't know how that all works either, but she said they took her jacket, and the cell was freezing cold. Then they let her go, in the middle of the night, without a ride, more than 30 miles from her home, and it was raining. She walked the 3 miles to our house in the rain in the wee hours of the morning.
Todd was awake when she arrived. He woke me up so I could see her, and now he is driving her home.
The reason she did not show up on Christmas was because she ran out of gas. Her boyfriend took her car and ran it out of gas and then stole $275.00 from her. I knew the guy was no good when I first met him, which was at a bar on Sandy's birthday about seven years ago. On that night, he was flirting with Sandy's 22 year old daughter, Raylene. I guess some women would find the guy attractive, though he is too short for my taste, and too muscle bound. He is old enough to be Raylene's father.
He later married Raylene, and has 2 children with her. They divorced about two years ago, and Raylene moved to Oklahoma.
So, anyway, just to recap: Sandy was dating her grandchildren's father, and he is the one who ran her out of gas and stole the money from her. It's a very convoluted story.
I feel responsible for Sandy's drinking problem. She only drank on social occasions until- it's been almost eight years ago now- it will be eight year on Valentine's Day.
It was Valentine's Day 2002 when her husband, Mike, committed suicide.
Mike was Todd's best friend. His death hit me harder than anybody's ever had before, or since. Maybe because it was so unexpected, so senseless, and left us with so many questions. I will tell you that story some day, but it is too early, and I really need some sleep, so I will just stick to why I feel responsible for Sandy's drinking problem.
Todd and I had just got our tax refund when Mike died, so I went shopping, and I took about three hundred dollars in alcohol over to Sandy's house on the day of the funeral. I was just so sad, I wanted to wash away all the pain with the alcohol. Sandy, her son, Hershell, Raylene, Todd and I, and a couple of Mike's other friends put a big dent in that alcohol that night. We sat around telling stories about Mike, remembering the good times.
When we left, I left behind all the alcohol. Well, Sandy never stopped drinking. When that ran out, she bought more, and now she drinks all the time. If I had not brought all the booze to her house that night, maybe she would not have started using it as a means of escape. I wish I could do something to help her stop drinking. Things just keep going from bad to worse for her. If she would stop drinking, maybe she would be able to start piecing things back together.
Below I am pasting a poem I wrote about Mike's death. It was published in Events Quarterly in 2004.
Rigor Mortis
How fixed is my mind?
How many times a week
-a day, do I see someone
out the corner of my eye
who moves like you?
With the same hair line,
the same brand of sunglasses,
or driving the same kind of truck?
How rigid is my brain?
How many times a month
-a year, do I forget
when I hear someone with
the same baritone laugh,
and I turn to greet you?
How many times,
will I forget
that I touched your arm
while you lied, unmoving
in your coffin,
and I expected your skin to feel
hard, like a mannequin,
but it wasn’t.
It felt like you-
only cold.
And how frozen is my heart?
How many times an hour,
-a minute,
will I be reminded of the fact
that you are gone,
and yet I am the one
who is motionless?
They only held her for a few hours because there is really no room in the jail for a woman arrested on a non-violent charge. Sandy said she doesn't understand how they can get her for DUI when she was not driving, she was sleeping, and the keys were not in the ignition. I don't know how that all works either, but she said they took her jacket, and the cell was freezing cold. Then they let her go, in the middle of the night, without a ride, more than 30 miles from her home, and it was raining. She walked the 3 miles to our house in the rain in the wee hours of the morning.
Todd was awake when she arrived. He woke me up so I could see her, and now he is driving her home.
The reason she did not show up on Christmas was because she ran out of gas. Her boyfriend took her car and ran it out of gas and then stole $275.00 from her. I knew the guy was no good when I first met him, which was at a bar on Sandy's birthday about seven years ago. On that night, he was flirting with Sandy's 22 year old daughter, Raylene. I guess some women would find the guy attractive, though he is too short for my taste, and too muscle bound. He is old enough to be Raylene's father.
He later married Raylene, and has 2 children with her. They divorced about two years ago, and Raylene moved to Oklahoma.
So, anyway, just to recap: Sandy was dating her grandchildren's father, and he is the one who ran her out of gas and stole the money from her. It's a very convoluted story.
I feel responsible for Sandy's drinking problem. She only drank on social occasions until- it's been almost eight years ago now- it will be eight year on Valentine's Day.
It was Valentine's Day 2002 when her husband, Mike, committed suicide.
Mike was Todd's best friend. His death hit me harder than anybody's ever had before, or since. Maybe because it was so unexpected, so senseless, and left us with so many questions. I will tell you that story some day, but it is too early, and I really need some sleep, so I will just stick to why I feel responsible for Sandy's drinking problem.
Todd and I had just got our tax refund when Mike died, so I went shopping, and I took about three hundred dollars in alcohol over to Sandy's house on the day of the funeral. I was just so sad, I wanted to wash away all the pain with the alcohol. Sandy, her son, Hershell, Raylene, Todd and I, and a couple of Mike's other friends put a big dent in that alcohol that night. We sat around telling stories about Mike, remembering the good times.
When we left, I left behind all the alcohol. Well, Sandy never stopped drinking. When that ran out, she bought more, and now she drinks all the time. If I had not brought all the booze to her house that night, maybe she would not have started using it as a means of escape. I wish I could do something to help her stop drinking. Things just keep going from bad to worse for her. If she would stop drinking, maybe she would be able to start piecing things back together.
Below I am pasting a poem I wrote about Mike's death. It was published in Events Quarterly in 2004.
Rigor Mortis
How fixed is my mind?
How many times a week
-a day, do I see someone
out the corner of my eye
who moves like you?
With the same hair line,
the same brand of sunglasses,
or driving the same kind of truck?
How rigid is my brain?
How many times a month
-a year, do I forget
when I hear someone with
the same baritone laugh,
and I turn to greet you?
How many times,
will I forget
that I touched your arm
while you lied, unmoving
in your coffin,
and I expected your skin to feel
hard, like a mannequin,
but it wasn’t.
It felt like you-
only cold.
And how frozen is my heart?
How many times an hour,
-a minute,
will I be reminded of the fact
that you are gone,
and yet I am the one
who is motionless?
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